Sometimes I hear something on a podcast or read a line in a book and find myself having to go back to it again and again. A collection of words that resonate with me so deeply that I realise I need to invest some time to explore more. To look under the surface and really try and understand the concept, embody it, experience it so I can start to integrate it.
And it happened last week. In the midst of a week that looked somewhat like a dark comedy, and whilst dealing with multiple layers of bullshit.
I was driving somewhere and plugged into a podcast, half listening, half zoning out thinking about other stuff when this one sentence just jumped out at me. It was like something inside me heard it and woke me up.
I went back and listened again, and had that beautiful experience of an idea landing so perfectly that it feels like some kind of divine timing.
Manoj Dias is an Australian meditation teacher. He was being interviewed and was sharing his thoughts on mindfulness, breathwork & meditation. About halfway through the interview he mentioned something that Tibetan Buddhist teacher Chögyam Trungpa once said -
“The bad news is you’re falling through the air, nothing to hang on to, no parachute. The good news is, there’s no ground.”
Read that again.
The good news is, there’s no ground.
That metaphor - of falling through the sky is such a perfect one. Because if we imagine ourselves falling, we can also imagine the things that we do in those moments. I’ve got a few defaults for sure, and I think I flit between them depending on where I’m at or what I’m dealing with (and sometimes blend them altogether into some kind of messy formula).
I scramble. I resist. I want to find a way to get out of my skin. I want to do anything, everything, to avoid being in this very moment.
I brace for impact. I ready myself for a fight. Armour on. Walls up. I push harder. Work harder. Train harder. Me against the world.
And probably the worst of all - I close my eyes. I disconnect from what I know to be true and I start believing the stories in my head. I step so far away from my own power and allow myself to lean into a narrative that is completely fabricated and anything but good.
But the fear of falling is not about the fall itself. The fear is of what will happen when we hit the ground.
So this thought, this idea, of there not being any ground - it’s kind of blown my mind. Because if there’s no ground then what the hell are we so scared of ?!
What if the point of all of this is actually just to get really good at falling through the sky ?
None of us are in control - that’s for sure. We don’t know what’s coming our way - good or bad. We’re all falling through our own sky. So what if we learned how to embrace this chaos ? What if we could breathe into it ? Even relax into it ?
So here’s where I’m at with it. I’m planning to pay a little more attention to the sky. To become curious about the state in which I’m falling. To notice when it’s beautiful and pink and orange and purple - and then take a deep breath, soak up every ounce of it and relax into it some more. To notice when it’s black and stormy and scary as hell - and then take a deep breath, know it won’t stay like this forever and relax into it some more.
Because what I think I’m realising is that if you choose to live a true life, one where you’re showing up for all of it (normally covered in dirt, scars & bruises) and wanting all of it, then you’ll be free falling - that’s kind of the deal.
So I’m ok with the whole falling through the sky thing, in fact, I’m super intentional about choosing that path. But I’m asking myself this - Can I fall with just a little more grace ?