What is it about blindspots ? Why are they so hard to see ?! I'm talking about the metaphorical ones, the things that tend to trip you up on the regular, the situations you end up in again and again - that normally can be tracked back to a single sucky decision you made (and continue to make).
I've got a pretty serious blindspot when it comes to business development. And this last month put a solid spotlight on it (which I'm actually pretty grateful for, in hindsight).
Here's the thing - I've worked for myself almost my whole career. A monthly pay cheque is somewhat of a novelty for me. I'm hyper aware that I'll have no money to pay for groceries if I don't put in the work.
This knowledge, in part, fuels my drive - and that, in turn, has meant I've become pretty damn good at business development. I'm good at seeking out interesting opportunities, building solid relationships and keeping my radar on when it comes to bringing in new work.
But this flow of work can also become a problem. For the last 2 years we've been working on two super exciting internal projects - both centred on education. They're the big ideas - projects that require a serious commitment, of time, energy & resources. And therein lies the problem - internal projects always end up coming last on the list. They're the first to be put on pause when the agency stuff shows up.
So much so that over the last few months we kinda got stuck in a cycle - saying yes to more agency work to build a financial buffer that will enable us to say no for a while so we can focus on our own stuff. But the more you say yes, the more the work keeps coming. And the lower down your own projects go on the list.
A couple of weeks back we had an opportunity to pitch for a really epic gig. One that ticked alllll the boxes. It felt like it was made for us. Super exciting. Ocean focused. With a great team. Requiring skill sets & experience that are totally aligned to our own. Plus it was offering a pretty solid budget.
The pitch needed to be in on the Friday of that week and on the Wednesday I finally cleared some time to dive in. I was psyched - time to put a solid proposal together.
But as I started mapping stuff out there was a feeling starting to surface in me - it felt kinda panicked. Somewhat overwhelmed. Something was asking for my attention.
My blindspot - my drive when it goes into overdrive.
I was about to throw us into yet another massive project. One that would, on paper, be a good move professionally and financially - but one that would actually move us away from the goal of launching these two projects.
It took a big, uncomfortable conversation (ha to be honest you could have probably called it an intervention) to realise that I was the one creating the chaos. And as soon as I took a breath and actually looked at what I was about to do, I knew what I needed to do.
We didn't send in a pitch. We called it there and then. Was it an easy decision ? Hell no. But it was most definitely the right one.
These lessons are often messy. They sometimes show up at the worst times. But every single time, they're nudging you towards more self-awareness, and that can never be a bad thing.