Good grief. It seems strange to be writing this today. I just looked back to see the last newsletter I sent out and it was way back at the very beginning of lockdown. One week in to be precise.
And in the time in between, we slowly crept our way out of all the restrictions and enjoyed an epic summer (with two or three spells of ridiculously good waves) and we're now headed back into winter and watching much of the world kick into the second wave of restrictions.
Any way you look at it, it's been a pretty insane year. I think we've all felt it differently. We've all experienced it differently. Moments of crazy gratitude and moments of crazy frustration. And I guess one thing I've noticed is how it's impacted everyone in diverse ways.
When this whole thing started I was fresh off the back of a pretty epic run of trips - We'd rolled into Christmas with a rad trip to Zurich to build strategy & content for some amazing clients who are using blockchain for good. Then headed to the West coast of France for a blend of outdoor adventures & brand strategy, and then a few weeks at home before flying to Indonesia for a jam packed three weeks with three different projects - one covering an incredible conservation organisation in Raja Ampat, another creating content for our epic friends at SeaTrees and then the last week spent immersed in all things environmental education with the phenomenal team at Green School Bali.
And right before (as in, days before) lockdown, I caught up with the Yellow Collective in Amsterdam for a few days of mapping out plans for the year.
Ha - as I write this, there are (no joke) tears in my eyes. I've never taken my work or the travel & community that is connected to it for granted, but holy smokes, this last few months have made me realise just how damn lucky I am. And how much I miss it.
Like - really miss it.
I bumped into a friend this morning and she said, 'Hey I was thinking about you yesterday - how you doing ?! Is this the longest you've been grounded for since you were a kid ?'. I smiled and replied 'yep, it is' - not really knowing how to put into words how I'm feeling.
We're rolling into November with no real sense of how the rest of this year (and the next) will unfold. I'm super lucky - my work has been able to pivot and still has some sense of flow to it. I've been 'stuck' on a rad little island with nature on my doorstep. I've got incredible friends & family here and have had waaaaay more time than normal to hang out and go on adventures with them. I've built a solid training & nutrition routine that brings me so much stoke. I've fallen in love with the ocean a thousand times over during a summer of infrequent but unbelievably good swell, and now as autumn has kicked in and I've got a gang of friends who are as mental as me and enjoy bodysurfing in chaotic onshore swell ha ha.
Yep - I'm super lucky. And yet - if I'm completely honest - it still sucks.
And I guess that's what I wanted to share with you today. It's ok if you're not ok. It's ok if this year has been a fucking struggle. It's ok if you feel guilty about even admitting it.
These moments of it not being ok ? - Just sit with them. Please don't try and resist them. Feel the feelings but drop the story. Don't feel like you need to make these feelings 'mean something'. They're just passing through.
In fact, in my experience - the more you actually be present to them, and feel them - the quicker they pass through.
Feel it all. The gratitude. The frustration. The fear. The joy. The anxiety.
And if there's one thing I'd advise you to do today ? Find a moment to go outside and just breathe. Look up at the sky tonight. Remember that we are just tiny dots on a planet spinning round in this huge universe. This moment is just a blip in time. Breathe - deeply. Ground yourself. Take off your shoes and feel the earth underneath you. When nothing else feels solid - you can always trust in nature.